FATHERLY LOVE

A father’s role in creating the Space of Love
By Shirley Moulton - Founder, The ACADEMi of Life, NYC


Not much is written about a Father’s role and love in the life of a child. I consider myself very lucky I had a remarkably loving father. He was a silent, tender, giant of a man, an accountant who served in The Royal Air force in WW11. I adored my father and although he is no longer here, I think of him often and feel his presence of everlasting guidance and love.

So what do fathers need to do to free and nurture the soul of their children...creating that ‘space of love’ as my father did for me?

I recently saw the movie ‘Babies’ and there was a scene where one of the babies became over- the-top frustrated as she played with her numerous state of the art toys, none of which brought her any joy. There was another scene in the movie of a baby observing the movement of a bug in the dirt and she seemed so engaged and at peace.

I was immediately reminded of a passage I read in the book ‘The Ringing Cedar Series – The Space of Love’. ‘A bug is a more perfect mechanism than any manufactured product. Every bug is a living thing and is a part of creation and as such aids the child in becoming aware of and connected to the essence of the Universe and of himself as part of it. Artificially created objects have no such connection and do not arrange priorities and values in the child’s brain in the right way.’

Another book I recently read, ‘The Continuum Concept’ says 'babies grow best in health, happiness, intelligence, self-reliance, courage and cooperativeness when they are reared in the continuum of the human biological experience…'

So how does a 21st century father nurture the soul of his child? I am no expert but I think spending meaningful time with your child in nature and and tell them as often as you can ‘I see you’ (Sawu Bona) might be a good place to start…maybe even read the books mentioned.

A man who is free from aggression, selfishness, fear and other dark feelings emanates the Light of Love. Shine your light of love on your child. Happy Father's Day.

MOTHERLY LOVE

What is this thing called a mother’s love?
By Shirley Moulton - Founder, The ACADEMi of Life, NYC



Several experiences this weekend lead me to reflect deeply on the meaning of motherhood. The first experience was my attendance at a Barack Obama’s initiative to serve brunch to mothers at a homeless shelter in NYC to celebrate Mother’s Day. These mothers were women from all walks of life each mentally challenged and the majority had children. The second experience was seeing two movies; ‘Babies’ and ‘Mother and Child.’

So what did I learn from those experiences? I realized that being a mother is probably one of the most difficult roles a person elects to undertake. I also realized that society does not allow us to be truthful about the awesome responsibility and difficulty of motherhood. The way it’s portrayed in the movies is an experience that is always blissful and peaceful, yet the reality is sometimes very different. I recall a friend telling me that the only way she survived the birth of her son, was to pretend that he was only going to be with her for a short time.

A mother’s love, especially in the formative years, is a selfless unselfish act and is considered the highest kind of love. Most women want kids and are happy with their newborn. Eric Fromm in ‘The Art of Loving’ describes the love of a mother as: ‘A mother's love is bliss, is peace, it need not be acquired, it need not be deserved.' But as the child grows up and begins to separate from the mother, motherly love becomes difficult because it continues to require unselfishness, the ability to give everything and want nothing in return.

According to Fromm, ‘the real achievement of motherly love lies not in the mother’s love for the small infant, but in her love for the growing child.’ He concludes that ‘a woman can be a truly loving mother only if she can love’ meaning that she is a happy person who loves herself, her family, her husband, other children, strangers and all human beings. Well said Eric!!

COURAGEOUS LEADERSHIP

Evolving the Corporate Machine with LOVE!
By Shirley Moulton - Founder, The ACADEMi of Life, NYC


“Businesses have become the most powerful and influential institutions on earth, rivaling any government or nation state. But public distrust of business is at an historic high; many employees and customers are disconnected from the companies they work for or buy from; suppliers feel squeezed; communities often organize to keep certain businesses out. With overworked employees and burnt-out executives, it is no surprise that there are calls for Love to have a greater place in our lives, in business and work.”

My new venture, The ACADEMi of Life (www.theacademioflife.com) hosts an event in NYC on May 12, 2010: An Evening in Conversation with Kevin Roberts, CEO Worldwide of Saatchi & Saatchi, a person I consider a courageous leader. He is passionate and unafraid about discussing the role of love in business and believes that the responsibility of businesses is to make the world a better place.

Roberts is truly a fearless, authentic leader who likes ideas and loves inspiration. And hates the word “but”. He’s constantly provocative and restless. He has an international reputation for an uncompromisingly positive, inspirational leadership style, and an extraordinary ability to generate ideas and emotional connections that accelerate value. Kevin is also the originator of Lovemark thinking, a methodology on how to evolve brands into a product or service that people adore. He authored the best-selling business book ‘Lovemarks’ which was published in 18 different languages.

Roberts was the keynote speaker at our annual Women Presidents Organization Conference a few years ago and over 600 women declared him as one of the best speaker we've ever had (and we've had some of the best, Malcolm Gladwell, Gary Hamel, Jim Collins etc.)

“I consider him inspiring and transformational and his message is essentially about the power of love and truly connecting with people, some of whom happen to be our customers, our employees, our suppliers our community and our shareholders. He is an experience not to be missed and you can learn more about him and his work at www.saatchikevin.com However in my opinion nothing you read can truly describe his impact.” – M. Goodfriend

Join us and experience his impact! http://bit.ly/dC2PVs


“Humans live by their emotions. That is how we make decisions and how we run our lives, whether it’s around a family dining table or a corporation’s boardroom table. The greatest emotion is Love and because business is part of life, business needs Love.” Kevin Roberts, CEO Saatchi & Saatchi

THE ART OF CONVERSATION

WE NEED TO TALK
By Shirley Moulton - Founder, The ACADEMi of Life, NYC



I recently read Catherine Blyth’s The ART of Conversation a manual on how to be a great conversationalist. I was particularly interested in this topic since our new venture The ACADEMI of Life (www.theacademioflife.com), a place where we discuss ideas to perfect our lives, offers a weekly conversation dinner event.

These dinners confirmed that attendees had no difficulty being conversationalists. In fact I learned that there was this great need to talk. And this talk needed to be face to face. I also learned how essential these conversations were to our well-being and how valuable the simple pleasure of talking to one another is. People were open, eager to spend time with each other connecting and sharing their life stories…one more intriguing than the other. The conversations were transformative and provided great insights on how we can lead happier and more fulfilling lives.

The book contains these wonderful gems:
• Good conversations can come close to heaven
• Conversation is where the raw stuff of life is spun into art
• Conversations awaken us to each other
• Conversation is good for the brain – better than a hundred pills
• Conversations can heal us
• Conversations give us humanity
• Talk less we understand each other less

I am reminded of the old French salons where conversations were most revered, where the great thinkers, writers, artists, politicians got together to share ideas to innovate, to reason and to produce best-selling books and form lifelong friendships.

I am excited about the possibilities of these dinner conversations…and remain confident that we can change the world one conversation at a time!

SELF-LOVE

Mastering the Art of Loving Self
By Shirley Moulton - Founder, The ACADEMi of Life, NYC


I recently read Andrew Young’s book ‘The Politician’, a morality tale of his journey with John Edwards. It’s a tale of greed, power, fame, narcissism, lust, hubris and hero worship. It’s a great read…can’t believe I am acknowledging this…but it is! It’s the classic story of the sinner and the saint, self-discovery and the quest for self-love. I am moved to include an excerpt from the book since my summarization would not do it justice …he writes…

“Late one night as my father lay dying, I sat alone with him and turned for comfort to some audio recordings of his old sermons. The first one I heard included the following passage, preached in his deep and familiar voice:

Love yourself. Know yourself. Accept yourself. Most of us, me included, never learn that to ‘love yourself,” you must first see and understand your own failings, accept them without shame, and learn to consider them as you move through life. If I had truly loved my-self, I wouldn’t have been ashamed of my own mistakes and lived in fear of being found out. If I had loved myself, I wouldn’t have felt the need to devote myself to a hero and his cause.

In my father’s sermon, he also said that too many of us get caught up in trying to be ‘little Jesuses.” By this he meant we try to be perfect, the way we imagine Christ was, and judge ourselves without mercy when we fail. Better, he said, to try to be a “big you” rather than a little Jesus. In fact, he thought that was all God ever expected of any human being.

With my dad’s help, I know now the difference between understanding human nature – the combination of good and evil – and being able to love yourself and others through it all.”

As I reflect on the word LOVE in the month of February, this book confirms what I have always known; that the greatest love affair we will ever have is the one we pursue with ourselves. Learning to love ourselves first, with all our flaws and imperfections is the greatest love of all, and is an essential practice to ensure a life successfully lived.

I LOVE BUSINESS

"Work is Love made Visible"- Kahlil Gibran
By Shirley Moulton - Founder, The ACADEMi of Life, NYC


After seven years of working in major corporations and with over 22 years leading a company whose clients were primarily Fortune 1000, I came to realize that I and others who worked in these mammoth entities were generally unhappy, fearful and stressed.

I LOVE business and I have loved it since the age of 5 years when I opened an imaginary store and literally sold ‘dirt’ and leaves from trees, to my sisters as products. I loved it when I would go into the shop next door to my house and buy candy. I remember watching in awe as the shopkeeper Master Alan skillfully weighed the flour and sugar he sold. The scale he used was this metal device balanced on a chain that hung from the ceiling. He would put empty brown paper bags on the scale and scoop out the flour or sugar from crocus cloth bags on the floor and fill the bags. He would meticulously and gently fold the bags using consistent motions and finally the finished product – 2 lbs of sugar or flour for the customer.

I loved watching this process. I loved the notion that if you requested a product it was provided with loving care and in turn, you would pay for the service with money, given in recognition of a job well done. What I witnessed was a ‘loving exchange’ as both buyer and seller experienced happiness, joy and satisfaction during the process. Watching this was inspiring, it was awesome! Many years later I read a quote by Kahlil Gibran “work is love made visible” and realized that what Master Alan was engaged in was a loving act and what was really being exchanged between the buyer and seller was “love”.

From that experience and many others since then, I concluded that the real purpose of a business is to lovingly create products and services in exchange for love through the vehicle of money. Money was the vehicle to express love for the products received from Master Alan. What if we would extend this feeling of love and loving responses to all the constituents of a business, the employees, the customers, suppliers, investors and society and in so doing produce quiet joy and happiness for all participants. What an evolution this would be; a business always engaged in the exchange of LOVE and loving it!

Excerpt from a book I am currently writing titled “How Big Business Can Save the Lives of their People…a Guide to Authentic Leadership”

ANGELS OR DEVILS?

Living Life from the Gray area!
By Shirley Moulton - Founder, The ACADEMi of Life, NYC


I recently read an interview with filmmaker Lee Daniels in which he talked about living life from the gray area and I quote: "Even the most evil person was somebody's baby at one time. And that's where life is lived. I've never been that comfortable with black and white."

His statement resonated deeply since I have always known that we all are imperfect beings full of ‘paradox and contradiction’ capable of unspeakable acts through words and deeds. The realization and acceptance of this ‘knowing’ is very freeing. It allows me to embrace my dark and light natures. It allows me to live a more authentic and courageous life. It allows me to forgive myself and others when mistakes are made. It allows me to be less judgmental and more accepting of myself and others. It allows me to be more compassionate and kind. It allows me to be a better human being.

As the year ends, I somehow feel that the acceptance of this very simply belief is the path to sanity and a happier life. But I would be remiss if I did not remain hopeful that sometime in the future, humans will evolve to ‘beings’ who will consistently choose to act and respond based on their ‘light’ nature…I remain confident in the eventual victory of good over evil.