Life Lessons

21 Life Changing Lessons from Maya Angelou

 By: Gina Sainvil, Executive Director, MAGS Consulting Ltd. Tanzania

“I did what I knew… when I knew better, I did better” ~ Maya Angelou

1. People will never forget how you made them feel.

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” 

“The desire to reach for the stars is ambitious. The desire to reach hearts is wise.”

2. Attitude is everything.

“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude. Don’t complain.” 

3. If you don’t change, you don’t grow. If you don’t grow, you aren’t really living.

“We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.” ~ Maya Angelou

4. You are more than what happens to you.

“You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them. Try to be a rainbow in someone else’s cloud. Do not complain. Make every effort to change things you do not like. If you cannot make a change, change the way you have been thinking. You might find a new solution.”

5. You can only love others as much as you love yourself.

“I do not trust people who don’t love themselves and yet tell me, ‘I love you.’ There is an African saying which is: Be careful when a naked person offers you a shirt.”

“If I am not good to myself, how can I expect anyone else to be good to me?” 

6. Life isn’t about surviving but about thriving.

“My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.”

7. You should never lose your faith in LOVE.

“Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time.” 

“To those who have given up on love: I say, “Trust life a little bit.”

8. Ask and you shall receive.

“Ask for what you want and be prepared to get it!” 

“Love life. Engage in it. Give it all you’ve got. Love it with a passion because life truly does give back, many times over, what you put into it.”

9. You alone are enough.

“You alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anybody.”

10. Challenges are opportunities for growth.

“You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it.”

“You may shoot me with your words, you may cut me with your eyes, you may kill me with your hatefulness, but still, like air, I’ll rise!”

11. There’s a difference between merely aging and growing up.

“Most people don’t grow up. Most people age. They find parking spaces, honor their credit cards, get married, have children, and call that maturity. What that is, is aging.”

12. True power comes from within.

“Nothing can dim the light which shines from within.”

13. Your parents will always be your parents.

“I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you’ll miss them when they’re gone from your life.”

14. Nothing last forever. Appreciate everything while you still have it.

“There were people who went to sleep last night, poor and rich and white and black, but they will never wake again. And those dead folks would give anything at all for just five minutes of this weather or ten minutes of plowing. So you watch yourself about complaining. What you’re supposed to do when you don’t like a thing is change it. If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.”

15. You weren’t born to blend in, you were born to stand out.

“If you are always trying to be normal you will never know how amazing you can be.”

16. Making a living is not the same as making a life.

“I’ve learned that making a ‘living’ is not the same thing as ‘making a life’.”

17. Dreams won’t work unless you do.

“Nothing will work unless you do.”

18. Great things take time.

“All great achievements require time.”

19. Diversity is a beautiful thing.

“It is time for parents to teach young people early on that in diversity there is beauty and there is strength.”

20. Fear is a waste of time.

“We spend precious hours fearing the inevitable. It would be wise to use that time adoring our families, cherishing our friends and living our lives.”

21. Each of us has the power to change lives.

“Each of us, famous or infamous, is a role model for somebody, and if we aren’t, we should behave as though we are — cheerful, kind, loving, courteous. Because you can be sure someone is watching and taking deliberate and diligent notes.”

UNTOLD STORIES

By Shirley Moulton - Founder, The ACADEMi of Life, NYC

I have lost so many close friends and family members in the past 22 months...including my mother, my best friend of 37 years and my college roommate. 

It made me realize that people die with so many stories untold.

I wanted to know more about my mother’s life and reasons for her not wanting to disclose the stories of her life. I forgot to ask my Mum what it was like living in England for three years without her babies! How did she manage sexual abstinence for 3 years at the young age of 27...or did she do, as others in her nursing school did, seek intimacy with other women.

I forget to ask my Dad why he enlisted in the RAF to support WWII and what the experience was like. Things I wanted to know were not shared or I did not ask.

I was discussing this issue with a friend who had recently lost her partner and she shared the poem below penned by her son.


“I was young and now I am old,

Here I sit a story untold.

Some days good and some days bad,

They passed so fast, more I wish I had.

Who will know and who will remember,

My story untold as my life nears December.

The young they dance, they sing and play,

I did that myself what seems like yesterday.

As life ends what is to come,

Is there more or is it done.

Remember me young or forget me old,

Yet here I sit a story untold.”


I was so moved by the poem, I asked my friend‘s son permission to include it in a blog post. He agreed and went on to share the reason for writing the poem.

"I wrote that poem after playing outside with my 5 yr old daughter. It made me remember being 5 years old myself (I am 37). It made me reflect on how little I really knew about my grandparents and great grandparents.... about their character and their lives before I was born. Often all we have is a handful of memories or stories that other people share about such individuals. Can you imagine your entire life being summed up for someone else in a few short stories? It made me contemplate writing "my story"...just in case my kids, grandchildren and great grandchildren (if I ever have any) would know a little more about me... not for my benefit, but for theirs or just to satisfy their curiosity.

Also, while playing with my daughter, I reflected on how it is too easy to view elderly people as nothing more than just that.... an old individual, somewhat one dimensional or seemingly disconnected from the current happenings in the world....in spite of the lives they have led, for better or worse and all that occurred for them over the years (their life "story"). It also made me reflect on how I will be just "one of those old people" someday in someone else's eyes. When such people see me as an elderly individual sitting quietly alone, will they realize I was once a 37 year old man playing on a grassy hill with my daughter, a 23 year old marrying a woman he loves, a 19 year old living life hard and fast to the fullest, a 13 year old kissing his girlfriend for the first time or a 5 year old playing on grassy hill himself fully engaged in the moment? I doubt it. All they will see is an old man...a story untold.

When I wrote that poem I wrote it outside of myself in a sense. I thought of an elderly man setting in a chair alone, in his living room or perhaps in his 10 x 15 room within a "retirement community". I thought of how many people just pass him by, not even considering all that he has been through...the ways in which he has seen the world change, the wars he may have fought, the people he loved, the children he may have loved or lost, his failure, his vices, his sin, love, sacrifice and regret. How easy it is to forget that such an individual has a "life story"...a story that for the most part, for most of us will probably go untold and be known by few people at best. I don't so much think this is tragic, but just the way life is. However, I think it is good not only for individuals to share their life story, but also for individuals to hear it.

Beyond that, I'm not sure why I wrote that poem. The poem literally took less than a few minutes to write. It just kinda came out that way given all the things I was thinking. I sent it to my Mom since she recently lost her partner”

As we prepare to spend time with our loved ones this holiday season, remember to ask about those untold stories before it’s too late, and while you are at it…write your own story. Have a joyful and peaceful holiday season.

ANGELS OR DEVILS?

Living Life from the Gray area!
By Shirley Moulton - Founder, The ACADEMi of Life, NYC


I recently read an interview with filmmaker Lee Daniels in which he talked about living life from the gray area and I quote: "Even the most evil person was somebody's baby at one time. And that's where life is lived. I've never been that comfortable with black and white."

His statement resonated deeply since I have always known that we all are imperfect beings full of ‘paradox and contradiction’ capable of unspeakable acts through words and deeds. The realization and acceptance of this ‘knowing’ is very freeing. It allows me to embrace my dark and light natures. It allows me to live a more authentic and courageous life. It allows me to forgive myself and others when mistakes are made. It allows me to be less judgmental and more accepting of myself and others. It allows me to be more compassionate and kind. It allows me to be a better human being.

As the year ends, I somehow feel that the acceptance of this very simply belief is the path to sanity and a happier life. But I would be remiss if I did not remain hopeful that sometime in the future, humans will evolve to ‘beings’ who will consistently choose to act and respond based on their ‘light’ nature…I remain confident in the eventual victory of good over evil.