I recently gave a speech titled “How to find peace in the midst of the chaos-A Personal Journey of Transformation” and shared the process of identifying, examining and resolving personal painful childhood experiences. A friend who was in the audience later remarked that what she loved about the speech was my ability to relate my painful stories from a place of detachment.
For a moment, I questioned whether I was being inauthentic by being detached and immediately recalled a poem by Rumi, called the Guest House:
GUEST HOUSE
This being human is a guesthouse.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
Some momentary awareness comes
As an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
Who violently sweep your house
Empty of its furniture,
Still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
For some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
Meet them at the door laughing,
And invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
Because each has been sent
As a guide from beyond.
We each have our painful stories and can either choose to see them as “guests”, as impermanent experiences to be understood and discarded or choose to see them as permanent memories of who we are.
I now realize that I have always chosen to see my painful stories as impermanent so they become transformative not crippling. So during my speech I was able to share them from a place of detachment, because they were simply my “valuable guests” who will eventually leave.
